I really love woodworking, and not to toot my own horn here, but I'm really quite good at it. I'm sure that people who know me and have seen my work firsthand would brag on me more than that, but I'm a pretty humble guy, so 'quite good' as a personal assessment is all you're going to get out of me.
After working various jobs in woodworking and having a business for a while building decorative birdhouses, I wanted more. I dreamt of owning my own custom furniture business, and I wanted it bad.
So, after moving onto her parent's property, we began making my dream come to reality. We were working on putting the horrible events that had transpired behind us and were looking toward the future. After finding a suitable space and purchasing some equipment, my business was born.
I worked hard. Very hard. Some may say I worked too much, especially my Ex. After having my shop for a while and seeing the success and potential, it was decided that I would also open a retail store. In doing so, my plate was extremely full and I was not spending much time at home.
In the long run, I would be blamed, by the Ex, for the ultimate demise of things because I was always working and was hardly home. However, at the time, I really didn't have a choice. You see, living in a 2 bedroom house with 5 children was becoming more and more unrealistic...and there was a major issue of cleanliness.
The house was always a disaster. Always. In fact, when we did argue, it was normally about the way the house was being kept. Time and time again, I was told that we needed to move into a bigger house and things would be all better. The Ex promised me over and over that she would be able to keep up with a bigger place better than she could the little 900 SF house we were living in.
I know...I know. I can almost hear all your heads shaking in disbelief that I might actually buy into this idea. If you can't keep a small house clean, how will you keep a large one clean? But I bought it -- hook, line, and sinker.
We looked around a bit and finally found the house of our dreams. A 3000 SF beauty that had a finished basement and 2 upper floors. I will admit that I loved that house as much as she did and I wanted it, but I never in a million years thought we would get approved for a loan to get it. My business was doing well, but I was no rich guy by any stretch, and my income was the only income.
My Ex filled out all the loan documents and such, I signed on the dotted line, and much to my surprise, we were approved.
So you see, I was working all those hours to provide for my family. She was unhappy in the small house, so I worked my rear end off to have a bigger house. She wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, so I dove into my work to build my business so that she could stay at home. We both wanted to be able to go on trips and experience wonderful things, so I did what I had to do to make that happen.
I was trying my very best to provide a happy, fulfilling life for us, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job at it.
In hindsight, I do realize that I worked too much. But hindsight is always 20/20. I loved my work and my business very much, to the point that building furniture really didn't seem like work at all. It was fun for me, but if I had been able to at the time, I would have worked more regular hours and spent more time at home with my family. I was working as much as I was out of necessity, not out of want.
Life was very good for a while. We were enjoying our new home and my business was doing great. Things really were going well....
Then came the point when my Ex wanted to go to school. She wanted to get a degree so that she could get a really good job and help to support the family. I thought it was a great idea and fully supported her.
I had no idea that supporting this decision would bring about the hell that has been the last 3+ years of my life.
Tonight, as I sit here looking back on all this, I am also very aware that I have not seen my children in 2 weeks now. I pray for them every single day and hope they are doing well and that they always know I love them and want them. I also pray for my Ex, hoping that she will see that she is hurting them more than she could ever hurt me (because ultimately I believe that's what this is about -- hurting me) by doing what she is doing.
Until next time!
Oh, I almost forgot -- that big house was never kept clean either...there was just more surface area to spread the mess around in.
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