First Move For Protection

What did I do? My wife of 14, yes FOURTEEN years, left me for another man. Not only did she leave me, she left our FIVE children...AND cleaned out the bank accounts, leaving me virtually penniless.

My first order of business after having the locks changed was to contact a lawyer. This lawyer did me right....in the beginning. He filed an immediate request for divorce. In the state of NC, you must be legally separated for an entire year, meaning you must live apart, etc., before you can be granted divorce, but you have to get the request legally acknowledged by the court or else a year later you could be back at square one. I guess this was the first step. So, here it is:

Motion for Divorce 7.24.2008

The next thing filed was a motion for Ex Parte Custody of my children. Ex Parte means that the opposing party is not in court and the judge can award you what it is that you are asking for without the other party present. Since my Ex left and wouldn't tell me where she was, I was easily granted temporary full custody of my children.

Exparte Custody 7.30.2008

Next comes the consent order. If you don't know what a consent order is, let me explain.

When a case goes to court, it does not always have to be heard in front of a judge and/or jury and decided on by those people. You can go to court and have your respective lawyers work behind the scenes to come up with an amicable agreement. That agreement is signed by both parties and then presented to the judge for his final decree (and if both of you agree, the judge always agrees and signs off). This is called an consent order.

For a consent order to go through, you have to agree to it. You can't sign it and then say you didn't mean to, you didn't understand, etc. The lawyers give plenty of opportunity and spend most of the time explaining to you what you are signing.

Do you remember the last post where I showed you the handwritten mediation agreement between my Ex and I? Well, my attorney drew up a consent order that stated all the things in that handwritten document. In the end, my Ex signed a legal document stating that she abandoned her children and husband and would not disclose her location. She was also ordered to pay child support.

Consent Order 08.2008

Protection. That was my main goal. She left, and at the time I didn't know with who, but she left. Abandoned me and the kids. I was protecting myself, but most of all protecting them.

Keep in mind that after my Ex left I had to
do everything myself. She left during the summer so the kids were out of school. It was up to me to provide a consistant life for the kids. I would get the kids up in the morning. That was a job in itself. Especially for the ones that didn't like to get up. I had to feed everyone and pack a lunch. Then...it was of to work.

Like I said before, I had my own custom furniture business. This proved to be a VERY trying time as I spent much of the day at work. I was building furniture, taking orders and waiting on clients in the showroom, answering the telephone and being a referee in the kids arguments. It was a handful with all of them there. I had a set schedule during shop time. We all took a break together, ate lunch together, and I even got most of the kids down for a nap everyday.

We then ventured to the grocery store. Yes, all 5 of them. The kids proved to be outstanding in their attitudes during the time in the store. They were asking to help all the time. Asking to get stuff I missed in the previous aisle. It went very well, I must say. Then came making dinner.

UGGG!! I know for a fact that I'm a horrible cook, so Hamburger Helper, mac n cheese and hot dogs did the trick. My oldest son even learned how to grill hot dogs. The kids were thriving on the consistent life I was providing them. It actually went VERY well considering the circumstances. I am very proud of the time I had with my kids alone. I know I did an awesome job for them and knew I was going to make a great single dad. And I did. Just you wait and see....

The next post will blow your mind because it will show you how she signed the consent order, AFTER she was gone, AFTER she had no intention of coming back, and yet, there was a restraining order?

Oh, yes, it does continue to get more and more unbelievable as time goes on, but it is exactly what happened.

Please let me know what you think...and KEEP READING!!