I have some space to fill between when I received the restraining order until my Ex resurfaced. In the space between, I have decided to talk about my life as a single dad.
I told you before that I realized I needed help with the day-to-day. That was absolutely true, and what I did to remedy that was hire a babysitter. This girl was great. She would come to my house whenever I needed and take care of my kids. Most of the time, I needed her help in the evenings.
I had an extreme hardship with finances at that time. You have to remember that my Ex cleaned out both my business and personal bank accounts before she left. This left me with nothing except the money in my wallet, which was about $5.00.
Now, expenses were not simple. When you own your own business, nothing is ever simple. I was living in a 3000+ SF house with a huge mortgage payment, which we could never afford to begin with. I had my shop rent, electric at my home (including heat), power at my shop, gas bill at my home, and materials and supplies for my shop and showroom, which I had to provide to build furniture. Not to mention telephone and fax for my shop and cellphone. On top of that, I had a vehicle that I made deliveries with that was a business expense.
When my Ex left and cleaned out the bank accounts, she took every single bit of the money that I needed to keep things going. Not to mention food, clothing, and other expenses for my children.
It was through the grace of God that people helped us. They gave money without my asking and without batting an eye. I owe these people more than I can even say....and more than I could ever repay.
I owe a major debt of gratitude to all of them, because I could not have kept things going without their help.
In the beginning, after my Ex left, I was still working heavy hours at my shop, and a lot of those hours were into the evening. The babysitter would come and watch the kids, feed them, and sometimes put them to bed for me.
She was invaluable to me at that time. And, my kids loved her, which made it all that much better.
So, even after the restraining order, life went on. I took my kids to school everyday and they got off the bus at my shop every afternoon. I was still getting them up every single morning and feeding them and clothing them, and I was taking care of the house as best I could while working crazy hours in order to support them.
I cannot be sure of the exact date, but at some point, I learned where my children's mom was. I found out that she was in Colorado with her new boyfriend. Now, I knew she had been to SC, but Colorado?
Once I found out the name of her new guy, I did some research and found that he was not the greatest guy ever. He had been in trouble for drug possession in the past. That immediately sent my radar up, and I was determined to find out more about him, or at least meet him, before he spent time around my kids.
I had to consider him spending time around my kids, of course. As horrible as it sounded for me, if he was the one she wanted to be with, I should meet him, yes? So, it was a possibility I should entertain.
I was enjoying my life as a single dad. My kids were doing GREAT in school, never missing a day, and they were thriving. They were all happy and healthy and really never seemed to miss a beat.
I know they missed their mom, and we talked about it often. We prayed every single night for her. I don't know if it was their ages at the time, or if they felt relief from the trouble, but all-in-all, they were doing very well.
Eventually, though, my Ex returned. And when she did, she wreaked havoc on the life that we were creating for ourselves.
Again, I will not bash, belittle, or say negative things about my Ex. I imagine that she was doing what she felt was expected of her.
What she did, though, was turn our lives upside down...and she hasn't looked back since.
Next time, we will go further into her return. The quake she left when she departed was minor compared to the earthquake she made when she came back. Until next time.
PS: It's been one month now since seeing my kids last.
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