What the Heck is Going on Here?!?!

At some point near the end of January/beginning of February, my Ex and I went to court to discuss interim distribution. Basically, what she wanted to take from the house and what I wanted to keep.

During that time, she testified in court that the minivan that she was driving (which was in both our names) was broken and unable to be used at all. She asked the judge if she could have my old pickup truck. Mind you, it only seated 3 people, so I'm not sure what good it would do with 5 kids, but anyway.

The judge said that she could have the pickup and that I was to take the title to the vehicle and drop it off at her attorney's office.

Well, that was all well and good except for the fact that I had purchased a large SUV to carry all my kids around in when she was splitsville and I had custody of them. I did this because I knew that the van was on its last legs and since I knew I was going to go through a divorce, I wanted to get something that I could transport all my children in while my credit was still good enough to do so.

After the child support order was entered and I had to rob Peter to pay Paul for everything, I knew that it would only be a matter of time before I lost my car because I wouldn't be able to pay for it anymore.

After the judge said she could have the truck, I stood up (my lawyer just sat there so I kind of took over). I explained that I would soon be losing my vehicle and that if she was going to take my truck I would be left with no transportation. I said that I would gladly take the van off her hands...since she testified that it didn't work anyway.

The judge agreed and awarded me the van. My Ex FLIPPED OUT! She began yelling at her attorney and told him that he was FIRED, and how DARE he let this happen. All this in front of the judge.

This was the first time I stood up for myself in court, and it worked in my favor. So, there is your lesson for today. If your lawyer isn't getting the job done, TAKE OVER and fight for yourself. Sometimes, it works!

I found it odd, and a little funny, that she threw such a huge fit (I'm talking HUGE temper tantrum) and fired her lawyer on the spot because she lost a van that didn't even work anymore. Or did it.....

She was ordered to turn the title over to my attorney and then we would make arrangements to exchange the vehicles. Of course, getting this to happen was like pulling teeth.

So, I was really shocked when on February 12, 2009 at 2:07 p.m. I received a call from the local police department.

From my journal: "I received a phone call from the **** Police Department at 2:07 p.m. informing me that my 2000 Ford Windstar van was on the side of XYZ Road. They stated that I needed to come and get it or it would be towed to impound at my expense. I informed them that the van belonged to my Ex. The police said they already spoke to my Ex and that she said the van was awarded to me by the judge (however, there was no court order yet and I did not have the title or possession of the van), so it was my problem."

I sent my Ex a text message at 3:03 p.m. and said that I wanted the keys to the van that she abandoned. She responded and confirmed the location of the van, stating the street that it was parked on. That told me that she knew where it was and that she had been driving it, even after she testified in court that it was broken.

Anyhow, I drove out to the location of the van and took my friend (a.k.a. the nanny) along with me. We found the van on the side of the road with the hood open.

Upon looking inside, we found the key in the ignition, but the van would not start. We then found that the driver's side rear and both passenger side tires were flat. When we looked closer, we saw the slash marks in the sidewalls of the tires:

Not only were the tires slashed, but the van was COMPLETELY cleaned out. Now, for most people a clean vehicle would not spark suspicion, but for me it was very odd. You see, at least once a month I would have to take all the seats out of that van and use a shovel to clean all the trash, and whatever else, out of it. So, when I saw it so clean, I was perplexed, to say the least.

Last but not least, there was one of those hard plastic storage containers attached to the roof as if someone might have been on their way somewhere:

There was absolutely no paperwork in the van at all, not even the registration or insurance information. In fact, I think the only thing that remained in the van was an empty drink cup.

The license plate was also gone off the back.

I had to call the police after I got there to have them send an officer out because I wanted to file a police report. The officer arrived and I basically had to force him to take the report. He said that because the van was registered to both my Ex and I, there wasn't anything he could do. He said that if my Ex did cause the damage to the vehicle that technically it was her vehicle and she could do what she wanted to it. I ultimately got him to make a report, but he refused to list her as a suspect.

Van Police Report 2.12.09

The officer informed me that he had seen the van on the side of the road the day before with the hood open and that the license plate had been on the van at that time. The day that I was called to come and get the van (the next day) the plates were gone. The officer called the DMV and found out that the plates had been turned in by my Ex.

So, I guess that since she was so ticked off because the judge awarded me the van, she said "well, here ya go...here it is!!"

I had to have the van towed on a roll-back to my house.

At 3:57 p.m., I tried to call to talk to my children. My oldest was the only one that was with his mom. Every time I would ask him a question there would be a long pause as if he was telling his mom everything I was saying and was getting coached on his answers. My oldest later told me that this was a prank that his mother was pulling. She put my oldest on the phone and then would take the phone, listen to what I was saying, and then laugh. Nice, huh?

I asked my oldest if he had been sick and missed school and he told me that he hadn't. However, when I was talking to him, I already knew that he had missed school since February 3 (this was February 12). I asked my oldest where all his brothers and sisters were and he said "beats me".

I then got on the phone with my Ex and asked her if my oldest had been sick and she said that he hadn't. I asked her who had been sick and she wanted to know why I was asking. I told her that they were my kids and I was concerned for them. She then told me that all of my children (except my oldest) had been sick.

My Ex then called me at 4:08 p.m. and left a very, very long message where she was just ranting and raving about random things and making wild accusations. She stated that I had sabotaged her job. I'm really not sure how I did this since I wasn't even completely sure that she was even working at the time, so therefore had no idea where she was actually employed. I'm guessing that she meant that because she had to spend so much time in court she lost her job. That still wasn't my fault though, because she was the one that continuously filed court papers. The only time anything was filed against her was when the nanny took out the restraining order and then I filed contempt charges for being denied my visitation. But none of that had been heard in court yet.

She also claimed I was sabotaging her vehicle. See, she had another car aside from the van. Apparently someone had slashed her tires on that car and punched a hole in the radiator with a screwdriver while it was sitting in her driveway. Of course she blamed me for it, and even claimed that the police were investigating the matter (I was never questioned about it and never heard another word about it from her). It could not possibly have been her boyfriend, who had a violent temper and a criminal record, could it? Oh, did I forget to mention that she had this guy pretty much living with her and my kids? This is the guy she left me for, abandoned the kids for, and disappeared for 5 months to Colorado with. But no, it couldn't be him, right?

She whined and complained about the van, stating that she wanted to get it fixed and keep it and now I was making her life difficult (again she used the word sabotage) because I knew that she couldn't transport all the kids in the pickup truck. But wait....the JUDGE said I could have the van. So again, I'm failing to see how any of this was my fault. She said that I was trying to make it impossible for her to properly care for the kids so that the judge would take them away from her and give them back to me.

Then she went on to say that she didn't mind me talking to the kids (!) but that they didn't want to see me because they were scared of me. She again accused me of hitting my oldest daughter, which was another lie. Even my daughter said that I never hit her. She accused me of being an alcoholic because she saw a few empty beer cans in the trash on one occasion when she showed up unannounced and was harassing the nanny. She said she hoped I went to AA or got some other kind of help, then said I had even put the nanny, whom she referred to as my "drinking buddy" up to taking out the restraining order on her. Wow! She said toward the end of the call that she would call later and let me talk to all the kids. I have it all recorded, but obviously cannot put that recording on here, although I wish I could.

I tried calling her back at 4:23 p.m. and she immediately hung up on me. I called again at 4:24 and got no answer. I left her a message and told her that she said I could speak to the children so she needed to call me back and let me talk to them. I called one last time at 6:52 p.m. and again left a message asking to speak to my children. No one ever returned my call.

Let me explain to you why I was so very concerned about my kids and why I wanted to actually speak to them to know they were ok.

First of all, the van had been found abandoned on the side of the road with 3 tires slashed and completely cleaned out. It was as if the occupants inside just vanished off the face of the earth. I was truly worried about where they were and what happened to them because I knew that my kids had not been in school lately.

Secondly, I knew that the guy that had been living with them was a bad dude. Don't get me wrong, I WISH that my Ex would find someone to keep her occupied and give her something else to focus her time on, but this guy was truly bad news and I didn't feel comfortable having him around my children. When I asked my Ex if I could at least meet him so that I would know who was spending all this time with my kids, she said absolutely not, no way.

It started with the phone call I received from my oldest son's teacher asking if he was okay because he had missed school. As the month progressed, I began going to the school and talking directly with the principal. I then received these:

First Notice From School 2.20.09

These were official notices I received from the elementary school that 3 of my children attended.

Then, I received these two letters; one was from the school social worker to the district attorney, and the other was the response from the district attorney. They were going to press truancy charges and issue warrants.

DA_warrants_3.3.09_3.4.09

When I talked to my oldest son the day that his mother was deciding to play a childish prank on me, it was the last time I would speak to or see ANY of my children for over a month. Of course, I didn't know that at the time. I really wish that I had known what was truthfully going on...maybe I could have done something to prevent it.

When all was said and done, their attendance records said it all:

Attendance Records

As you can see, a pattern is beginning to emerge in which every negative thing that happens to her is my fault. My Ex still, to this very day, takes absolutely no responsibility for what she does wrong. It is always someone else's fault (usually I get all the blame), but never hers.

It turns out, my Ex wasn't just withholding my visitation (again) and refusing to let me even talk to them. Nope...they were GONE. Disappeared. Vanished. POOF!

Next, I will detail my desperate fight to find my children. There came a point in time when I began to wonder if they were even alive, and with everything that was going on at the time, that was not an irrational thought at all.

Where did they go? Stay tuned!!

All Aboard for Crazy Town!

In my last entry, I told you how I was ordered to pay child support and post-separation support totaling $2200.00 a month and how my Ex brought me up on criminal charges for nonpayment before the court had even entered an order as to the amount I would pay.

Well, after the CS/PSS ruling of February 3, 2009, it didn't take very long for the shenanigans to begin.

I have dubbed this time period of my life "crazy town" because, as you will see, some completely unbelievable (and crazy) things begin to take place....DAYS after the child support ruling is entered.

It was during this time that it was suggested I begin keeping a daily journal of events as it pertained to my children and my Ex and the happenings in regards to each. With the help of my good friend, and nanny for my children, I began to do that so that I would have documentation of everything that was happening.

In this journal entry, I will begin to use excerpts from that journal to pass on to you what was happening. I considered scanning the journal in so you all could just read it, but I think that would be very confusing due to the names being taken out and such, so I will relay to you what my journal says instead.

Anyway, as I stated, the court order for child support and post-separation support was entered on February 3, 2009. The day BEFORE, which was a Monday, I have a journal entry which states that I called my Ex's mother's house at 8:07 p.m. to try to speak to my children. I was unable to speak to them.

On the day that the order was entered (February 3) I contacted my Ex and discussed with her arrangements for me to have my visitation the very next day, which would be Wednesday, February 4, 2009. At the time, I had Wednesday visitation, but due to practicality, it was changed to Thursdays some time ago.

I called my Ex at 2:10 p.m. and we made arrangements. Everything was all set and ready to go, and everyone was in agreement with the course of events that would transpire so that I could see my kids for my visitation.

Within an hour of all arrangements being made, my Ex was served with this:

Nanny Restraining Order 2.2.09script>

Yes, the woman who was working for me as a live-in nanny filed a restraining order against my Ex. As you can read in the document I provided, my Ex began showing up at our former marital home (which she was not supposed to come to without permission) completely unannounced when she knew for a fact that I would not be there. Most of the time I was working, but on one occasion I was out of town, and my Ex knew that as well. There was a time when my Ex actually walked right into the house (without being let in) because the door was unlocked.

This restraining order was a last resort for the nanny. She did not want to move forward with it, but really had no idea what else to do. I told my Ex on many, many occasions not to come to the house at all, but when I wasn't there it seemed she felt she could do whatever she wanted. After the incident when I returned home from the beach and she showed up unannounced and sent one of my children inside, I was told by the police that there were grounds to file a restraining order.

Since this had happened so many times to the nanny, and she was fearful of my Ex's erratic behavior, it was felt best that the nanny file the restraining order because she had so much documentation of repeated offenses.

The nanny had my full and complete support in filing the restraining order. I was willing to testify in court, if need be, because I was the homeowner and would need to give my consent. I went with the nanny when she went to the Family Abuse Center and filled out all the paperwork. She was scared and nervous, but she got through it.

After we went to the Family Abuse Center, we had to go over to the courthouse and ask the judge to sign an Ex Parte protection order. All this means is that the Defendant is not present but that the court finds that there is enough evidence to grant a temporary protection order that will be in effect until there is a formal hearing, usually 10 days later.

The nanny was granted the Ex Parte order with no problem whatsoever.

At some time on February 3, my Ex was served by the sheriff with the Ex Parte order. After 9:00 p.m. that night (after all arrangements had been made and agreed upon regarding my visitation the next day) my Ex sent me a text message and informed me that she was not going to let me have my children the next day. I tried to call my children at their grandmother's house 3 times that night to try to talk to my kids and/or my Ex to find out why she changed her mind. No one ever answered the phone or called me back.

I know that her actions were in direct retaliation of the restraining order that she was served with, but she would not admit it.

The next day February 4 (visitation day), I called my children's grandmother's house at 7:30 a.m., trying to talk to them before they left for school and trying to find out if I was going to get my visitation or not. I was finally able to get my kids for my visitation that afternoon, but only after about 20 phone calls back and forth between our lawyers were made and my Ex was convinced that she had to let them come for visitation or it could look bad for her.

On February 5 (Thursday) there was basically a repeat. I had to contact my Ex again to find out about my weekend visitation. I tried to contact my Ex several times about it and she did not answer and did not return my messages.

The kids were supposed to get off the school bus on my days at my shop where I used to have my business. On Friday, February 6, 2009, they did not get off the bus as they were supposed to. I immediately called my attorney, and again the back and forth ensued. My Ex finally agreed to meet me at a gas station at 6 p.m. so that I could get my kids.

My mother had flown down to visit as she had not seen her grandchildren in quite some time, and she wanted to see me because of everything I had been through and was still going through. I kept this a secret from my kids because I wanted it to be a big surprise for them. So, when I went to pick up the kids that night from the gas station, I took my mom with me. We arrived, but my Ex never showed up. She sent me a text message at 6:10 saying that she would not be coming. She claimed that the kids were crying and didn't want to come and that my oldest daughter said that I hit her.

She also said to tell my mother hello.

Now, how do you suppose she knew my mother was with me, or was even visiting in the first place? I'm not going to answer that one for you; you can draw your own conclusions.

I tried to call her to speak to my children and was denied.

The next day, Saturday, February 7, 2009, I was still trying to salvage the weekend with my children, not only for my own sake, but for the sake of my mom, who flew in from out of state to see them. I tried to call my Ex and ultimately ended up sending her a text message asking her if I was going to get to see my kids or not.

She never responded.

On Sunday, I tried to call to at least talk to my kids...and was denied yet again.

So, on Monday, February 9, 2009, myself, my mom, and the nanny decided to go to my children's school and eat lunch with them. At least then my mom (and me and the nanny) would be able to see them and know that they were okay. When we got to the school, we were informed that the kids were not in school that day. Hmmmm...their mom had been in court that morning, so where were the kids??

Later on that Monday, I received a voicemail from my oldest son's teacher. She stated that she was concerned about my son because he had not been in school for a few days and she had not been able to reach his mother to find out if he was okay. I did a little investigating and found out that all of my children had missed school the previous Friday and that Monday.

We all felt that their apparent sickness was a bit coincidental since it came at the exact time my mother was visiting (and my Ex never liked my mother).

On Tuesday, February 10, 2009, I went to my children's school to drop off an updated version of the custody papers. The school had been asking my Ex for these papers for some time, but my Ex never provided them. I also wanted to find out what the excuse was for them missing school on Friday and Monday.

While I was there, my oldest daughter happened to walk by with a friend. She saw me, but was not excited at all. She acted as if she wasn't supposed to be talking to me. She almost walked right by me without noticing me, but I said her name and she stopped. I asked her where they had all been over the weekend and she said that she didn't know. I then asked her if I had ever, EVER hit her and she said NO!! I knew that wasn't the best place to ask her about that, but since I could never see them or talk to them, I had to. The statement my Ex made that my daughter said I hit her was weighing heavily on my mind (I knew that I never hit her) and I needed to know if it came from my daughter or from my Ex. Well, my daughter's answer confirmed my suspicions.

I then told my daughter that her grandmother had flown all the way from Mass to visit them, and she had absolutely no reaction at all. Now, if you know my daughter, she is not devoid of emotion at all. She is loving, sweet, caring, kind, and very tender-hearted. But on this day, nothing. I felt like I was talking to a stranger. It was awkward, and I knew at that moment that my children were in the beginning stages of parental alienation.

I never knew I would spend the next 3 years trying to fight against this syndrome, but I'm still fighting it to this very day.

I ended up filing the first contempt charge against my Ex for her failure to provide the kids for my visitation. It certainly would not be the last:

First Contempt 2.12.09

As far as the restraining order against my Ex, I accompanied the nanny to court so that I could show my support and/or testify if needed.

My Ex had her lawyer and the nanny had no one.

Ultimately, there was not a permanent restraining order granted against my Ex for the simple fact that the nanny had never asked my Ex to leave once she was there. Her defense to that was that she was afraid and didn't know what to do. I had told my Ex many, many times not to come to the house, and the nanny did not want to have a confrontation.

Even though she was afraid and was clearly being harassed, my Ex was let off the hook because "please leave" was never spoken. However, the judge did admonish my Ex in court and told her that she knew she had no reason to be at that house, so she better stay away. In the end, that was good enough for the nanny, because if my Ex continued the behavior after the judge said that, the case would be open and shut.

A word to the wise: ALWAYS warn the other party at least once to stop calling/texting/emailing/coming to your home/etc. If you don't warn them at least once, you have no grounds for a protective order or harassment charge. No matter what offense the other party has committed against you, you have to give them fair warning or a judge won't prosecute them or sign off on a protective order against them.

That was a lesson learned, and taken to heart!

When we talk next, the ride will get even crazier. Note that what I have documented in this blog takes place over less than a 2-week span (I know!). Note that my Ex had only had primary physical custody of the children for less than 2 months at this point and I was already getting denied my visitation.

Next up...abandoned and vandalized van and missing children. Where did they go???

Like Pulling Numbers Out of a Hat

Here I am again. I have been so, so very busy lately with work and just haven't had the chance to sit down and write anything. I hope you all have not forgotten about me!!

Anyhow, my children are here again this weekend. Two visitation weekends in a row now, and I'm happy. I'm not holding my breath for a third, though, because my Ex has already made it clear she will not bring them again.

I received a text message from my Ex on Wednesday afternoon wherein she stated that she would bring the kids for my weekend. She stated that she would drop them off on Friday evening and pick them up on Sunday. I was surprised, and skeptical, but thrilled nonetheless. I told her that would be fine, and then she surprised me again by texting back that she would also bring them for my Thursday night visitation. She would pick them up Friday morning for school and drop them back off on Friday evening for them to stay with me all weekend.

WOAH!! Talk about blowing me away here! The fact that my lawyer filed a contempt motion against her for visitation doesn't have anything to do with her recent change of heart, does it? Oh well, even if it does and she is only trying to make herself look better for court, I really don't care. I will take any opportunity to get my children that I can, and as my lawyer stated, "The damage has already been done. Eight weeks without seeing them do not just vanish because she suddenly starts bringing them again. She still has to answer for that in court."

The reason I don't believe she will bring them for my next visitation is because she already has said she won't. See, after she said she would be bringing them and then picking them up on Friday morning for school, etc., I asked her to give me specific drop off and pick up times so that there would be no confusion.

She stated that she would drop them off on Thursday at 5:00 p.m. Great! Well, they didn't show up until 5:45. This would not be a big deal in the grand scheme of things except for the fact that we never grocery shop for food for all of them until AFTER they get here. The reason for this is because I have dealt with her saying they are coming and then she doesn't bring them so many times, only to be stuck with about $100 worth of groceries. So, we wait until after they get here before going shopping.

I texted her at 5:30 and asked if she was still bringing them. When she didn't respond, I told her that if it was going to be much later, they would need to be fed before they were dropped off because it was getting late. That got her attention! She angrily texted back that they would be here shortly and said, "I will never do this again."

I then told her that them being late is not an issue, but she could at least let me know. Forty-five minutes is not just a little late. It's a courtesy thing. I was not being angry with her or anything, but she was very snarky in reply (calling me "your majesty"). If the situation were reversed and I was that late dropping off the kids and didn't contact her, she would have already called the police on me....I'm positive of that.

She was supposed to pick them up at 7:00 a.m. Friday morning and take them to school, but again, she was a no show until 7:45. Forty-five minutes late seems to be the new norm (she's never been one to be on time). I know that 3 of my kids were late to school on Friday because their school day starts at 7:50. Oops!!

On Friday evening, she was going to drop them off at 7:30 p.m., but actually showed up 20 minutes early. Oh well.

I think that she is under the impression that I am supposed to just be so very thankful that she is bringing them that common courtesy goes out the window and she can do whatever she wants and I'm not supposed to say anything. Of course I'm thankful to have my children, and I'm glad that for whatever reason she brought them to me, but considering she is court ordered to bring them, she really isn't doing me the huge favor she believes she is. Nonetheless, they are here, and every day they spend with me is a good day.

I now tune you to the title of today's blog post....child support.

Now, before I begin, let me say that I have NEVER had a problem paying to support my children. Even though I was upset that the judge awarded her custody after everything she did, I still knew that I had to do my part to support them.

That is not the issue here.

The issue here is the fact that I was railroaded, and once you see the documents, you will know that I was railroaded mercilessly.

When my Ex and I were in court to determine the amount of child support I had to pay (since she was awarded primary physical custody temporarily) I had to provide the judge with A LOT of evidence to show my income. Namely:

1) TWO YEARS worth of bank statements for my personal account (which was in my name and my Ex's name).

2) TWO YEARS worth of bank statements in my business name.

3) TWO YEARS worth of tax returns.

4) TWO YEARS worth of receipts for materials and supplies for my business.

5) TWO YEARS worth of bills for my business AND home.

6) I provided extra years just to show that I was telling the truth.

My Ex had to provide the following:

1) Um, nothing. She testified she made a certain amount of money and was never required to show proof. Court documents state that she provided a financial affidavit, but I never saw one (and the court order was written by her lawyer).

-------------------------------------------------

I gave the judge every single piece of paper I had showing my expenses and income. My tax returns showed I made between $12,000 and $15,000 a year. But in the end, the judge threw out EVERY shred of paper I submitted and claimed that I made in excess of $54,000 per year.

Honestly, I have never made that much in a year in my life. Why did he come to this conclusion? Because my Ex did the books and testified in court that I took in cash on a regular basis....and that I didn't report it. The judge believed her.

But, if he believed her about that, why would he not believe she had lied on my tax returns (she did the books!)?

Anyhow, I had a custom furniture business. When I took an order I required half down. Do you know anyone who walks in to a business with $2000 cash in their pocket? I did very little business in cash, but because she testified that I did it all the time, I was done.

The judge ordered me to pay $1800 a month in child support plus $300 a month in post-separation support. $2200 a month. That was my income total (without credit cards) so she was taking everything I had.

They were focused on the fact that I had a car that I had purchased recently. Well, the reason I purchased it is because I needed to be able to transport my children (which she abandoned); the fact that I still had the house, and the fact that I had a nanny to help me care for the kids.

I was finished before I ever even walked into the courtroom.

Child Support Order 2.3.2009br />
The real kicker was that I was served with a CRIMINAL court summons for nonsupport of a child BEFORE this order was even handed down. You will hear more instances like this later (not due to child support, but other issues...all frivolous). It seems that you can go to the Magistrate in my county and tell them whatever you want to tell them, and they will believe you.

Sure, you have to swear on the bible and take an oath, but still....

I was served on January 17, 2009 with a criminal court summons. My Ex went to the magistrate and told her/him that I wasn't paying child support and I needed to go to jail.

Child Support Criminal Summons 1.17.2009br />
Mind you, the judge had not yet ruled on child support...that ruling would come almost a month later.

I went to court for that and my lawyer explained to the judge and DA the situation. The judge threw out the criminal charge because it was being handled in civil court. He also said the charges were frivolous because my Ex knew when she took the charges out that a ruling had not been made (by the way, her lawyer had no idea that she went and took out criminal charges against me on her own).

A word to the wise: In the county that I live in, taking out frivolous charges will land you in jail. Also, if you take charges out on someone and then you don't show up in court to testify, you will be arrested. This has changed in the last year or so. I SO wish this had been in effect earlier because I am going to show you many, many instances that it could have proved effective.

I'm not sure what my lesson is for this blog entry. Perhaps that you should demand that you get to see the financials from the opposing party. Otherwise, it seems, they can say what they want and it will be believed. Demand to see the truth, and if they don't provide it, SUBPOENA it. Subpoenas are not hard to do (I have done them myself). Don't leave it all up to someone's word.

Next...well, next there is so much to tell. I will get denied my visitation for the first time, merely a week out from court and less than a month of her having custody. I sincerely hope you all are prepared for this because the ride doesn't get easier....

Until next time.

A Happy Weekend

I realize that I haven't posted anything in quite a few days, and I apologize for that, but it was for good reason, because this past weekend....

I GOT TO SEE MY KIDS!!

My sister and brother-in-law drove down from their home, which is about 15 hours away, to visit. They have a van that will accommodate 8 people, so I let my Ex know I would be picking up all the kids from school this past Friday and that they would spend the weekend with me (it was my weekend anyway).

To my surprise, my Ex did not deny this at all. She actually didn't say anything back. So, we picked up all the kids from their respective schools Friday afternoon. They were very surprised to see their aunt and uncle (I never mentioned they were coming). They were so happy to see me and my girlfriend too. I missed them tremendously! 6 weeks without seeing the kids is a real tough thing to go through and to feel them hug me and say they love me got me choked up. That was a GREAT feeling to have, but this won't be the last time I don't see me kids for that amount of time either. The next time that happens will rock your world.

We had a blast! On Friday night, we all went out to eat at a local pizza place called The Mellow Mushroom. I had never been there before, but apparently the kids had. It was really good and we devoured three 16-inch pizzas like they were nothing!

After we were done with dinner, we took all the kids back to the hotel where my sister and her husband were staying. This was supposed to be the only hotel around that had an indoor swimming pool. My sister even called and spoke to someone there to make sure they had an indoor pool, and she was told that they did.

Well...they didn't.

It was an outdoor pool and it was extremely windy and pretty chilly outside. However, that didn't stop the kids (the water was heated) and they went swimming for at least a good hour, maybe more. After that, we went up to the room where all the kids enjoyed hot chocolate and answering riddles that their uncle would give them. It really was a great night.

On Saturday, the small town that I live in was having a little festival, so we all went and walked around there. They had 4 different bounce houses that the kids could jump in until their hearts were content.

After the festival, we all went bowling. The bowling alley worked out a great deal, and we got 3 lanes for all of us along with 2 pitchers of soda and 2 hours to bowl all we could bowl. We ended up bowling 4 games or more a piece. Huge thanks to the bowling alley, because they even let us finish our last game after the 2 hour mark was up. It truly was a great day because my kids love to go bowling. I used to take them often, but haven't been able to do so in over a year due to transportation and finances. My sister and brother-in-law were truly a blessing to make this an incredible weekend.

They left on Saturday afternoon, and we had a great home-cooked meal of Russian chicken. This meal is probably at the top of my kids' favorite meals list, so they were loving every minute of it.

On the weekends when I have my kids, we always have movie night. The kids take turns picking out a movie to watch on Netflix and they have popcorn. Well, Saturday night was no different, except this time I had to ground my oldest son.

Actually, this past weekend wasn't the first time, but I felt awful about it. I hadn't seen my kids in SIX weeks...punishing any of them is not what I wanted to do at all. Then again, what am I supposed to do? He was saying awful things, being disrespectful to everyone; shooting people with his Nerf gun, which is not allowed. I ultimately decided that things should be no different than when they were with me before, and I sent him to bed early, as I would have done any of the other kids if they were doing the same things.

The next morning, it was as if all was forgotten and he made me breakfast and cappuchino. It's like that with him...he turns on and off the attitude and anger like a switch. Part of it is his age (13) and part of it is just the way he is. Either way, I love him.

On Sunday, I had a discussion with my two oldest children about how they talked to me a few weeks ago on the phone. My oldest son was especially nasty, and they both were convinced that I don't pay child support due to what their mom has told them.

I called them in separately and showed them the evidence. I logged into my account on the child support website and showed them the amounts I have paid every single week for the last year. I also showed them my pay stubs (child support is taken out automatically). Now...I have been paying my child support for much more than a year, but the child support website will only allow you to pull records for 13 months.

My daughter cried because she didn't want to admit that her mother had lied to her. It was heartbreaking for me. My daughter had been told that I only started paying child support 3 weeks ago after our phone conversation. In reality, I had been paying child support for 3 years, in excess of $30,000. I told her that I was not asking her to say anything about her mom, I was just trying to correct the wrong things that had been said about me. In the end, she understood and went away knowing that I was showing her and telling her the truth.

My son was indifferent. He had an attitude from the beginning and didn't want to listen, but I told him anyway. He was convinced that the way he spoke to me on the phone that time was okay. I told him that it was not EVER okay to talk to me that way, and I showed him the child support stuff as well. Even though he acted like he wanted nothing to do with the conversation, I know he heard me and saw the truth.

All in all, it was an amazing weekend, and I was phenomenally happy to see my children after SIX weeks. The only sad thing is that it took my sister and her husband driving 15 hours to make that happen (part of the trip was for one of their children, but they came here as well to see the kids and to help me see the kids).

The other sad thing is that I don't know when I will see them next.

Trust me that my lawyer is working on this.

Please continue to pray for me and my children. There are other things going on that I did not touch on in this blog, but compared to not seeing my children, everything else seems minor.

I will see you soon, my friends.

P.S...I understand this is a break in the continuity of things, but I got to see my kids and I felt it was important. It was amazingly helpful to me and made me feel better. It made them feel better too, which was evident as they didn't want to leave my side.

In the next post we will return to the sequence of things.