During that time, she testified in court that the minivan that she was driving (which was in both our names) was broken and unable to be used at all. She asked the judge if she could have my old pickup truck. Mind you, it only seated 3 people, so I'm not sure what good it would do with 5 kids, but anyway.
The judge said that she could have the pickup and that I was to take the title to the vehicle and drop it off at her attorney's office.
Well, that was all well and good except for the fact that I had purchased a large SUV to carry all my kids around in when she was splitsville and I had custody of them. I did this because I knew that the van was on its last legs and since I knew I was going to go through a divorce, I wanted to get something that I could transport all my children in while my credit was still good enough to do so.
After the child support order was entered and I had to rob Peter to pay Paul for everything, I knew that it would only be a matter of time before I lost my car because I wouldn't be able to pay for it anymore.
After the judge said she could have the truck, I stood up (my lawyer just sat there so I kind of took over). I explained that I would soon be losing my vehicle and that if she was going to take my truck I would be left with no transportation. I said that I would gladly take the van off her hands...since she testified that it didn't work anyway.
The judge agreed and awarded me the van. My Ex FLIPPED OUT! She began yelling at her attorney and told him that he was FIRED, and how DARE he let this happen. All this in front of the judge.
This was the first time I stood up for myself in court, and it worked in my favor. So, there is your lesson for today. If your lawyer isn't getting the job done, TAKE OVER and fight for yourself. Sometimes, it works!
I found it odd, and a little funny, that she threw such a huge fit (I'm talking HUGE temper tantrum) and fired her lawyer on the spot because she lost a van that didn't even work anymore. Or did it.....
She was ordered to turn the title over to my attorney and then we would make arrangements to exchange the vehicles. Of course, getting this to happen was like pulling teeth.
So, I was really shocked when on February 12, 2009 at 2:07 p.m. I received a call from the local police department.
From my journal: "I received a phone call from the **** Police Department at 2:07 p.m. informing me that my 2000 Ford Windstar van was on the side of XYZ Road. They stated that I needed to come and get it or it would be towed to impound at my expense. I informed them that the van belonged to my Ex. The police said they already spoke to my Ex and that she said the van was awarded to me by the judge (however, there was no court order yet and I did not have the title or possession of the van), so it was my problem."
I sent my Ex a text message at 3:03 p.m. and said that I wanted the keys to the van that she abandoned. She responded and confirmed the location of the van, stating the street that it was parked on. That told me that she knew where it was and that she had been driving it, even after she testified in court that it was broken.
Anyhow, I drove out to the location of the van and took my friend (a.k.a. the nanny) along with me. We found the van on the side of the road with the hood open.
Upon looking inside, we found the key in the ignition, but the van would not start. We then found that the driver's side rear and both passenger side tires were flat. When we looked closer, we saw the slash marks in the sidewalls of the tires:
Not only were the tires slashed, but the van was COMPLETELY cleaned out. Now, for most people a clean vehicle would not spark suspicion, but for me it was very odd. You see, at least once a month I would have to take all the seats out of that van and use a shovel to clean all the trash, and whatever else, out of it. So, when I saw it so clean, I was perplexed, to say the least.
Last but not least, there was one of those hard plastic storage containers attached to the roof as if someone might have been on their way somewhere:
There was absolutely no paperwork in the van at all, not even the registration or insurance information. In fact, I think the only thing that remained in the van was an empty drink cup.
The license plate was also gone off the back.
I had to call the police after I got there to have them send an officer out because I wanted to file a police report. The officer arrived and I basically had to force him to take the report. He said that because the van was registered to both my Ex and I, there wasn't anything he could do. He said that if my Ex did cause the damage to the vehicle that technically it was her vehicle and she could do what she wanted to it. I ultimately got him to make a report, but he refused to list her as a suspect.
Van Police Report 2.12.09
The officer informed me that he had seen the van on the side of the road the day before with the hood open and that the license plate had been on the van at that time. The day that I was called to come and get the van (the next day) the plates were gone. The officer called the DMV and found out that the plates had been turned in by my Ex.
So, I guess that since she was so ticked off because the judge awarded me the van, she said "well, here ya go...here it is!!"
I had to have the van towed on a roll-back to my house.
At 3:57 p.m., I tried to call to talk to my children. My oldest was the only one that was with his mom. Every time I would ask him a question there would be a long pause as if he was telling his mom everything I was saying and was getting coached on his answers. My oldest later told me that this was a prank that his mother was pulling. She put my oldest on the phone and then would take the phone, listen to what I was saying, and then laugh. Nice, huh?
I asked my oldest if he had been sick and missed school and he told me that he hadn't. However, when I was talking to him, I already knew that he had missed school since February 3 (this was February 12). I asked my oldest where all his brothers and sisters were and he said "beats me".
I then got on the phone with my Ex and asked her if my oldest had been sick and she said that he hadn't. I asked her who had been sick and she wanted to know why I was asking. I told her that they were my kids and I was concerned for them. She then told me that all of my children (except my oldest) had been sick.
My Ex then called me at 4:08 p.m. and left a very, very long message where she was just ranting and raving about random things and making wild accusations. She stated that I had sabotaged her job. I'm really not sure how I did this since I wasn't even completely sure that she was even working at the time, so therefore had no idea where she was actually employed. I'm guessing that she meant that because she had to spend so much time in court she lost her job. That still wasn't my fault though, because she was the one that continuously filed court papers. The only time anything was filed against her was when the nanny took out the restraining order and then I filed contempt charges for being denied my visitation. But none of that had been heard in court yet.
She also claimed I was sabotaging her vehicle. See, she had another car aside from the van. Apparently someone had slashed her tires on that car and punched a hole in the radiator with a screwdriver while it was sitting in her driveway. Of course she blamed me for it, and even claimed that the police were investigating the matter (I was never questioned about it and never heard another word about it from her). It could not possibly have been her boyfriend, who had a violent temper and a criminal record, could it? Oh, did I forget to mention that she had this guy pretty much living with her and my kids? This is the guy she left me for, abandoned the kids for, and disappeared for 5 months to Colorado with. But no, it couldn't be him, right?
She whined and complained about the van, stating that she wanted to get it fixed and keep it and now I was making her life difficult (again she used the word sabotage) because I knew that she couldn't transport all the kids in the pickup truck. But wait....the JUDGE said I could have the van. So again, I'm failing to see how any of this was my fault. She said that I was trying to make it impossible for her to properly care for the kids so that the judge would take them away from her and give them back to me.
Then she went on to say that she didn't mind me talking to the kids (!) but that they didn't want to see me because they were scared of me. She again accused me of hitting my oldest daughter, which was another lie. Even my daughter said that I never hit her. She accused me of being an alcoholic because she saw a few empty beer cans in the trash on one occasion when she showed up unannounced and was harassing the nanny. She said she hoped I went to AA or got some other kind of help, then said I had even put the nanny, whom she referred to as my "drinking buddy" up to taking out the restraining order on her. Wow! She said toward the end of the call that she would call later and let me talk to all the kids. I have it all recorded, but obviously cannot put that recording on here, although I wish I could.
I tried calling her back at 4:23 p.m. and she immediately hung up on me. I called again at 4:24 and got no answer. I left her a message and told her that she said I could speak to the children so she needed to call me back and let me talk to them. I called one last time at 6:52 p.m. and again left a message asking to speak to my children. No one ever returned my call.
Let me explain to you why I was so very concerned about my kids and why I wanted to actually speak to them to know they were ok.
First of all, the van had been found abandoned on the side of the road with 3 tires slashed and completely cleaned out. It was as if the occupants inside just vanished off the face of the earth. I was truly worried about where they were and what happened to them because I knew that my kids had not been in school lately.
Secondly, I knew that the guy that had been living with them was a bad dude. Don't get me wrong, I WISH that my Ex would find someone to keep her occupied and give her something else to focus her time on, but this guy was truly bad news and I didn't feel comfortable having him around my children. When I asked my Ex if I could at least meet him so that I would know who was spending all this time with my kids, she said absolutely not, no way.
It started with the phone call I received from my oldest son's teacher asking if he was okay because he had missed school. As the month progressed, I began going to the school and talking directly with the principal. I then received these:
First Notice From School 2.20.09
These were official notices I received from the elementary school that 3 of my children attended.
Then, I received these two letters; one was from the school social worker to the district attorney, and the other was the response from the district attorney. They were going to press truancy charges and issue warrants.
DA_warrants_3.3.09_3.4.09
When I talked to my oldest son the day that his mother was deciding to play a childish prank on me, it was the last time I would speak to or see ANY of my children for over a month. Of course, I didn't know that at the time. I really wish that I had known what was truthfully going on...maybe I could have done something to prevent it.
When all was said and done, their attendance records said it all:
Attendance Records
As you can see, a pattern is beginning to emerge in which every negative thing that happens to her is my fault. My Ex still, to this very day, takes absolutely no responsibility for what she does wrong. It is always someone else's fault (usually I get all the blame), but never hers.
It turns out, my Ex wasn't just withholding my visitation (again) and refusing to let me even talk to them. Nope...they were GONE. Disappeared. Vanished. POOF!
Next, I will detail my desperate fight to find my children. There came a point in time when I began to wonder if they were even alive, and with everything that was going on at the time, that was not an irrational thought at all.
Where did they go? Stay tuned!!
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