Boys Will Be Boys

Before I continue telling you about the disappearance of my children, I feel that it is important to document what happened this past weekend, not only to demonstrate the craziness that continues to be my life, but to get it all down before the details become fuzzy.

Getting my children here was, as seems is the norm these days, a struggle. Ultimately, they were brought by my Ex, as per court order, on Thursday afternoon. My Ex discovered that I filed a contempt motion against her regarding my visitation, so I assume she figured she had better start complying with the court order.

I wouldn't think the motion of contempt had so much to do with her decision to comply with the court order if I hadn't been down this road so many times before.

Anyhow, my kids spent Thursday night and all weekend here and they had a great time. As usual, they played a lot of games, colored, read books, played outside, and oh, did their dreaded chores.

On Sunday afternoon, they were to get picked up at 4 p.m. At about 3:15, my three boys went outside to play with their Nerf guns. At approximately 3:45 I went to call them inside so they could put their toys away and make sure they had everything they needed before they left.

When I opened the door to call them in, I heard my youngest (6-year-old) screaming. The other two boys were saying he got hurt and I needed to come quick. It wasn't until I got over to him that I realized he didn't just fall down or something...he was bleeding. Bad.

All I knew to do was grab the tail of his shirt and hold it up to the side of his face, where blood was coming out at a pretty steady rate. I scooped him up and brought him inside and called to my girlfriend. I don't deal with blood very well and she is very good with caring for injuries.

While my girlfriend began assessing his injury and was talking to him trying to get him to calm down (he was pretty hysterical), I asked my other two boys what happened.

They told me that they were playing a game outside with their Nerf guns and my oldest was running around the house in one direction and my youngest was running around the house in the opposite direction. My oldest collided with my youngest by accident because he didn't see him until it was too late. The end of my oldest son's Nerf gun hit my youngest on the side of his face, approximately 1/2 inch away from the corner of his eye.

Boys will be boys, right? Injuries are bound to happen, and this was another one to put in the books. It wasn't as if this was the first injury any of my children had suffered while playing, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

My girlfriend cleaned the wound and was able to get the bleeding stopped and bandaged it up as best she could with what we had on hand. We gave him an ice pack and got his clothes changed because they had a lot of blood on them. My girlfriend was phenomenal at calming him down and assuring him that he was going to be just fine. We then gave him a popsicle because he was being very, very brave.

We knew, by the looks of the cut, that it was probably in need of stitches. It was a pretty wide cut, and since it was in his face, the only way it would heal well and him not have a nasty scar would be for a doctor to sew it closed.

Since my Ex was due to arrive at any moment, a text message was sent to her letting her know what happened and the actions that we took. I text her nearly 100% of the time now for a few reasons.

The first reason is because I generally don't like speaking to her because it can never just be a normal conversation.

The second is that she doesn't answer the phone if my number calls her. Lately she doesn't even answer if the kids are here and try to call her.

The last reason that I chose a text on that day was that even if I did call and she didn't answer, there was no way to leave a message stating what happened because she doesn't have voicemail; has never set it up.

Anyhow, a text message was sent stating: "Child #5 was playing outside and he and Child #1 had a collision. Child #5 got a pretty deep cut next to his eye. We bandaged it and he has ice on it, but you may want to have it looked at. It was an accident and he is OK, but will probably have a black eye."

Before I could press send, the kids were saying their mom was across the street....that's how fast everything happened.

I sent the kids to their mom and my oldest carried my youngest across the street when I told them it was okay to cross.

I didn't hear anything for a few hours, but had told my oldest daughter to tell her mom that I wanted to know if he went to the doctor and what happened. He was on my mind big time all afternoon. I remember thinking how grateful I was that the gun had not been 1/2 inch to the left...it would have hit him directly in the eye.

I finally received a text from my Ex that said this:

"Thanks for walking your son across the street like you're supposed to. And tell (girlfriend's name here) it wasn't OK because he had to get stitches."

I will now clarify the crossing the street issue so there is no confusion.

For the past several months, since my Ex got in trouble for trespassing at my work, she is not allowed to come on any property that my boss owns. This includes my house, which we rent from my bosses company.

Because of this, my Ex has to drop the kids off and pick them up across the street from where we live. At first, I was walking across to pick them up and walking across to drop them off. This makes me (and my girlfriend) very uncomfortable for reasons you have yet to hear.

Since the road is only 2 lanes, I began walking to the side of the road with them and telling them when it is safe to cross (no traffic). Their mom is on the other side of the road waiting for them. It is a 2 lane road and the distance they have to cross is only about 15-20 feet. I always stand and watch to make sure they make it across safely and could run out at any moment if need be.

The last few times my Ex has dropped the kids off, she has sent them across the street alone. In fact, this past Thursday and Friday when they got dropped off, my girlfriend saw her pull in and went to get her shoes on to walk over to get them. Before she could get out the front door, my kids walked in, so it was assumed that telling them when it was okay to cross and watching them go across was fine.

Since my Ex brought my girlfriend into the situation with the text she sent, my girlfriend responded via my phone. She identified herself and said the following:

"This is (girlfriend's name here). I never said the cut was OK. In fact, I said you would probably want to have it looked at. I bandaged it the best I could since it happened right before you came. Otherwise, we would have taken him to the hospital. And you let them cross the street alone so that is not an issue. Child #1 even carried him."

In hindsight, my girlfriend probably should not have responded. In all actuality, I should not have responded either, because it never goes well, but it really bothered both of us, so humans will be human.

This is the response from my Ex:

"I don't have a choice but to let them cross by themselves because you are too lazy to get up off your butts off the porch, and I can't cross because you are scared of me and you are wanting me to get arrested. My baby was hurt and in pain. The doctors and nurses were shocked at your actions and disregard for his safety. He needed stitches. Tell your boyfriend."

So there you go. As I already stated, she let them cross the street on her own accord before anyone could come outside to get them. And we don't want her to get arrested; the reason she can't cross is from her own doing, but somehow is all my fault. The part about us being scared of her? Yeah...that part is true. After all this time, we are both afraid of things that she will do or say in order to cause problems because we have witnessed the lengths she will go to.

I ask you...what else could we have done? The answer is nothing. NOTHING. Even if I had put him in the car immediately (with his mom across the street waiting for him) and rushed him to the ER, it wouldn't have been the right decision.

I tried to call my kids that night, specifically to talk to my youngest to find out how he was feeling, but my calls and texts were never returned. Go figure.

Normally when there is irrationality, we don't respond to it at all, but in this case, I felt it was needed. My Ex was basically saying that we neglected him in his time of need and put him in danger, which was not true. You have to defend yourself sometimes, even if it falls on deaf ears. All I know is that my girlfriend and I did everything that could possibly be done for him at that moment. We then turned him over to his mother and knew that she would make sure he got any additional care he needed.

It would have been nice if my Ex could have let me know, calmly, that he needed stitches and that he was doing OK, but I guess that is too much to hope for. Instead there were accusations and innuendos, as usual.

I still haven't spoken to my son or any of my other children. They are supposed to come tomorrow for my visitation, but whether they arrive or not is any-one's guess. I can only wait...and wait...and wait. That is my life. Waiting for the right thing to be done.

This blog post was supposed to be about the disappearance of my children and my search to find them. I find it sad and frustrating that an entire blog post can be taken up by telling you about an injury that my child suffered. It shouldn't be this way.

Next blog, I promise to continue along the lines of continuity here. Please stay tuned!!