Finally Found

When I last left off with the story of my life, I was at the point where my kids were missing and I had been to the Sheriff to try and at least get a missing person's report filed....to no avail. I had assurance from the detective looking into things that my Ex and children were okay because the detective told me that she called him and told him so, but I still had no idea where they were, and if the detective knew he wasn't telling me.

The next day, February 18, 2009, I continued on like normal. I went to work but also called the schools to see if my children were there. I know the schools were probably getting sick of me at this point, but I was hoping beyond hope that they would magically appear one day. I continued to try and call my Ex's phone but it was still disconnected. Things seemed very bleak, to say the least.

Also during this time, my lawyer was filing motions against my ex in court. On February 12, 2009, a contempt motion was filed for my missing my visitation for the weekend of February 6, 2009.

Contempt Motion 2.12.09

On February 17, 2009, there were two motions filed. The first was another motion of contempt because my Ex had not adhered to the court order that stated she was to surrender the van to me. Instead, as you have already heard, she abandoned it on the side of the road with slashed tires. My lawyer was asking that she be jailed, pay a fine, and have to pay for the repair costs and the towing of the vehicle.

The second filing was an order to show cause, which basically says that my Ex had better show up in court no matter what. If she didn't show, she could be arrested for failure to appear. This was because she had neglected to show up for a previous hearing, so my lawyer was doing everything he could to make her show up.

Contempt Motion 2.17.09

Show_Cause_2.17.09

On February 23, 2009, I received a phone call from a Sheriff's deputy. It always made me nervous when they would call me or come to my home or work because, well, I never knew what it was going to be for. This deputy asked me where I was and if I had a minute to come down to the Sheriff's station because they had some out of state papers to give to me. I was wondering what in the world they could possibly have from out of state, but I had the sneaking suspicion it had something to do with my Ex.

When I arrived, I was given this:

CO Restraining Order 2.19.09

I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked at that restraining order. I was finally aware that my Ex had taken my children to Colorado and while there she obtained a temporary restraining order against me on February 19, 2009. Even though she was obviously in Colorado, she did not reveal her address.

In the restraining order, she stated her reasons for obtaining the order. A lot of those reasons were the exact same reasons she had used in the restraining order she took out against me in North Carolina. If you don't remember what her statements were in that restraining order, you can go back and reference it here:

She also claims, yet again, that I hit my daughter in the head with the door and states that I was intoxicated and screaming at her to "get out". This was a completely false statement. The only true thing that she stated there was that I did call the police because my Ex was not supposed to be there...and certainly should not have shown up unannounced, yet again.

She states that her tires were slashed and a hole was put in her radiator. She says that this was the third time her tires were slashed and that the police had evidence and were investigating. As I've stated before, I had not set foot on her property, and if she claimed to the police that I did this I'm sure they would have questioned me about it at least, but they never did. The only evidence that this ever happened was my Ex saying that it did, but I know I certainly did not commit those acts.

She also brings up the restraining order that my nanny took out against her. She asserts that the nanny was not in fear of her at any time; however, I don't know how she could possibly know whether or not someone was afraid of her. I personally know that the nanny was extremely uncomfortable and did not ask her to leave because she was afraid of how my Ex would react.

I thought it was completely absurd that she would file a restraining order against me in a state that was 3000 miles away. It was even more absurd because I had no idea she was even there until I received the restraining order. I certainly was not going to travel 3000 miles to try and track her and my children down. Even though it was troubling to have this temporary restraining order against me, it was also quite comical at the time and I do remember having a good laugh about it.

On the VERY SAME day that I received the restraining order, my Ex tried to call me. She called me that day at 9:24, 9:26, 9:28, 9:29, 9:30, 9:32, and 9:33. The calls all came from a blocked phone number. She left a couple of messages saying that she assumed I didn't want to speak to her or the kids.

Um, there was a RESTRAINING ORDER against me. I couldn't answer the phone. I was ordered to have NO CONTACT with her or my children. I felt at that time that she was trying to set me up. If I had answered the phone, she could have called the police and told them that I violated the restraining order. I then would have gotten arrested. I honestly don't know what she was thinking.

The hearing for the restraining order was scheduled for March 4, 2009. Since I lived in North Carolina, I had no intention of traveling to Colorado for this hearing. However, I knew that if I didn't go the order would be made permanent (probably for a year) so I had to figure out how I was going to defend myself from so far away. The hearing was held on March 4, 2009, but was continued until April 3, 2009.

In the interim, since I know knew where they were residing, I talked to my attorney and he filed the following motion in court on February 27, 2009:

Motion_2.27.09

In that motion, my lawyer asks that I be granted temporary custody of my children because it is no longer in my children's best interest to live with their mother. When the hearing was held on March 2, 2009, the judge ordered my Ex (yep, she showed up for court) to return the children by March 6, 2009, so that I could have my court ordered visitation that weekend. If she did not bring the children on that date, she was to surrender herself to jail.

So, on March 6, 2009, I got to see my children for the first time in over a month. My Ex flew them all back from Colorado and I went to pick them up at her mother's house. She had a deputy there to witness the exchange because of the restraining order. I took a friend with me so that I also had a witness and I also dropped off the pickup truck that I was ordered to give to her. The only reason I hadn't given it to her previously was because, well, I didn't know where she was.

It truly was a great weekend. I took tons of pictures and we had a blast. That weekend was my middle son's birthday, so we celebrated his birthday along with mine. We also celebrated my youngest daughter's birthday because she was gone to Colorado for her birthday and I didn't get to see her or call her. It was SO wonderful to see them and know that they were safe.

After that, I did begin getting my visitation regularly for awhile, but it was difficult because of the restraining order. The children either had to be dropped off and picked up by someone else or we had to meet at the Sheriff's department to make the exchange. I also couldn't call them during the in between times because I was not allowed contact with my Ex. I began having my friend call for me to act as a go between, but my Ex would never answer the phone. My Ex continued to call me on a regular basis, though, even though she was apparently afraid of me and had taken out a restraining order on me.

On March 19, 2009, I sent a letter to the court in Colorado in order to attempt to defend myself against the restraining order. You can read the letter here:

Judge Letter 3.19.09

On the day of the hearing, April 3, 2009, I was in my car when the phone rang. It was the judge in Colorado. The hearing was happening and he wanted to ask me some questions. I verified that everything in the letter that I had sent was accurate. The judge then informed me that my Ex did not show up for the hearing (big surprise) and that he was going to dismiss the case. He also told me that he was very upset that my Ex would use the Colorado legal system in such a manner and that based on all the evidence I sent to the court, the restraining order was frivolous.

So that was the end of that.

You are going to see in the future that my Ex has a history of taking out charges against me and never showing up in court. Today, she would be arrested for such behavior, but at the time she got away with it.

She got away with everything. She was never punished for taking the children out of state. She was never punished for the van. She has never been punished by the court for anything. In fact, she was even rewarded for abandoning the children when she received custody of them. Crazy, huh?

Anyhow, there is a lot more to tell as we have only reached March/April of 2009. While things are good for a little bit and I get to see my kids like I am supposed to, it doesn't stay that way for long. The saga will continue, my friends.

Please stay tuned!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!