The month of May 2009 was an extremely trying time for me. Not only did I have to go to court and was ordered to again pay an extremely large amount of money (see previous blog entry) but there were also other very upsetting things that happened during that time.
When my kids didn't show up for visitation on May 13, 2009, I should have known that something was up. I was at work and received a telephone call that really threw me for a loop. The call was from the Department of Social Services. They wanted to come and meet with me at my work and ask me some questions about a report that had been filed against me. I told the DSS workers I would be available that afternoon.
When DSS arrived, they informed me that my Ex had filed a report claiming that I had abused my oldest son on May 6, 2009. When they began talking to me, I immediately knew the event that they were referring to, but what actually happened was vastly different from the pack of lies they had been fed by my Ex.
On Friday, May 1, 2009, the kids were with me for my visitation. After I put the kids to bed that night, I was relaxing in my living room and I heard my oldest son's voice. He said, "Mommy, I'm scared." I immediately got up and went into his room where I found him hiding in his closet talking on a cell phone. I was completely unaware that my son had a phone with him, but nonetheless, approximately 3 minutes after I found him on the phone, my doorbell rang.
It was the police. They stated that they received a call from my Ex in which she stated that her son was in danger and was afraid. I welcomed them inside my home and they spoke to my son. They asked him if he had been hit or hurt in any way and he said no.
The deputy then apologized to me and told me that my Ex had all the cell numbers for the sheriff's deputies and that she called them ALL the time for petty things. He stated that everyone in the Sheriff's Department was sick and tired of her constant calls and that he was going to speak to his supervisor about not taking her calls anymore.
My son felt really bad after the police left because he realized that he had caused the police to come to my house for no reason. He went to bed and all was well....
The following week on May 6, 2009, my kids were with me for my Wednesday visitation. That afternoon I had a long discussion with my kids about lying and how it is very wrong to lie. I also asked them about the allegations that had been made about both me and the nanny drinking while driving.
My oldest son and oldest daughter admitted to me that they had been the ones who told their mother and her attorney that the nanny and I would drive them while drinking. My oldest daughter then stated that she actually never saw the nanny drink and drive. She told me that her mom would tell her to lie and hide things from me. My daughter also told me that her mother would tell the kids to snoop around the house while they were there and also would tell their grandmother not to answer the phone if I called to talk to my kids.
My oldest son stated that he had completely lied to his mother and her attorney about the drinking and driving and that he had never seen either me or the nanny drink and drive.
I then asked my son if he had the cell phone with him that his mother gave him. He told me that he had it. I asked him to give it to me because I didn't want the police showing up at my door again for no reason. My son would not give me the phone, so I went into his book bag and took it.
A little later on, the nanny was inside doing chores and I was outside doing some yard work while all of the children were outside playing. My oldest son went into the house and told the nanny that he was hot and thirsty. The nanny said that he could have something to drink and then go back outside and play. A few minutes later, the nanny went into the living room and found my son playing on my laptop computer. My son had been told many, many times before not to use my computer under any circumstances without my permission and supervision. He had violated this rule several times in the past, and at one point was found in my bedroom hiding in the corner on the computer. Because he had been told over and over again not to use the computer, the nanny felt it was necessary to come outside to inform me that she had found him on the computer yet again.
I went inside and confronted him and his attitude was immediately very nasty. Since he was being so ugly to me, I told him to go to his room. He then said, "you can't tell me what to do." When he again refused to go to his room, I simply walked over and took him by the arm, just above the elbow, and escorted him to his bedroom. While on the way to his room, he actually threw himself on the floor so I picked him up and continued with him to his room.
Once we got into his room, he was being very mean and nasty to me. He was saying hateful things such as, "you are the devil". I simply left the room and told him not to come out of his room until he was ready to apologize for speaking to me that way. I closed the door and went about my business.
Approximately 15 minutes later, the nanny went outside to take out the trash. The other children were standing in the driveway outside of my son's bedroom window. The nanny overheard them discussing what they were going to tell the policeman when he showed up. The nanny went back inside and told me about this and told me that I needed to get the kids inside and have a talk with them. When I went outside to get the kids, I saw my oldest son leaning out his bedroom window screaming for help, telling the other kids to call their mother and call the police.
I went back into my son's room and asked him if he was ready to apologize. He again was very mean and nasty to me. I told him to stand in the corner in his room and not move until he was told he could. I then left the room and shut the door.
While the nanny was inside cooking dinner, I was outside with a friend who had stopped by to help me change the tires on the van (the one found on the side of the road with slashed tires). The nanny would periodically come outside to check on the children and see how progress was going on the van. At one point, after going back inside the house, she caught my oldest son out of his room. He told her that he had to go to the bathroom and that was why he had left his room.
When dinner was ready, everyone sat down to eat, including my oldest son. I remember this night very well, not only because of the events that happened and the resulting aftermath, but also because we had pork chops for dinner and my son dropped one on the floor by accident, which was quickly snatched up by one of my dogs. Everyone thought it was funny and everyone, including my son, laughed.
My son was allowed to remain outside of his room for the rest of that night.
That evening, I had yet another talk with the children about lying. I also talked to them about why their brother had been sent to his room. I told them that it was because he did something he wasn't supposed to and he was being disciplined for it. I told them that this business about calling the police all the time was not okay at all. I told them that you don't call the police because you get in trouble for something and get sent to your room. It seemed that my kids were all under the impression that anytime anything didn't go their way, they could call the police. The kids told me that they were sick of seeing the police all the time.
This entire event, which was nothing more than my son getting in trouble for breaking the computer rule and being belligerent and ugly to me, was the reason that my Ex called DSS.
After a lengthy interview with the DSS workers, they stated that they would conduct and investigation into the events, but at that time they could find no evidence to show that any of my children were in any immediate danger from me. They signed a statement to that effect.
Later on that day, after meeting with DSS, I received a phone call from a deputy at the Sheriff's Department. She informed me that she had some papers she needed me to come pick up.
On Wednesday, May 13, 2009, the nanny accompanied me to the Sheriff's Department where I was served with this:
Restraining Order 5.13.20090001
Yes, you read that right. This was the third restraining order my Ex filed against me in a matter of months, and this time she was bringing my oldest child into the fold. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me when I read that I was actually being accused of abusing my son. I felt like my Ex was bound and determined to have a restraining order against me no matter what it took...and now she was using my child to try and get her way.
When she filed the order, she asked for an Ex Parte order, which would mean that the order was granted immediately without my having the chance to defend myself first. The judge did not sign off on the Ex Parte order, stating that a fill hearing would need to be held first. Basically, with such serious allegations, I deserved to defend myself before a decision was made.
She claimed that I locked my son in his room that night, which I never did. The door was never locked. She claimed that I would not let him out to use the bathroom, which was also another lie. She finally claimed that I did not let him eat dinner that night and that he was not allowed out of his room until the following morning.
All lies. Nothing new there.
The hearing was set for May 18, 2009, but ended up being continued because her attorney was on leave, and even though there was no restraining order and DSS found no evidence to substantiate her story, she kept the kids from me for a long time. The only time I saw them for weeks after the restraining order was filed was when I went to their school and had lunch with them.
In the end, the matter was dropped (by my Ex), I ended up filing harassment charges against my Ex, I went to court for child support (previous post) and life continued on with my weekly desperation to see my kids and fighting for what was right. That was all in the month of May 2009. Can you see why I would just like to forget?
I'm still fighting every single day, to this very day.
Next time, things will take another drastic turn. I know, you're thinking it can't possibly get any worse, right? Well, just hold onto your hats, folks!
Until next time.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Yet Another Blindside
After going to court in March of 2009, and being ordered to come up with $3800.00 in a very short time frame, I was eager to try to get back to work. I just wanted to put my head down and concentrate on what I did best and continue to try to get my life back on track.
My relief of courtroom drama would not last long, however. On May 1, 2009, less than 2 months after last appearing in court, a Motion was filed against me once again. This time, however, it was more disgusting than ever before.
My Ex was trying to stop me from seeing my children at all.
Motion_4.21.20090001
As you can see, the Motion contains complaints that I did not allow my Ex to take the items she was allowed to take from our former residence. I already covered all of that in a former post here, but I do feel it is worth mentioning that that part of the Motion never went anywhere.
Also included in this particular Motion was the "truck tampering" that I apparently committed. As stated in a previous blog, that case was dismissed when my Ex never showed up in court. It had already been dealt with in criminal court and should have been over and done with; however, my Ex's attorney slipped it in there anyway. That part of the Motion also never went anywhere. No proof and a dismissed criminal case. In my opinion, that part of the Motion was a waste of ink!
The absolute worst part of this Motion was that my Ex was trying to have the judge order that I not see my children at all. If you will read paragraph #2 on the third page, it says, "That the Plaintiff's (that's me) secondary placement with the minor children be restricted and denied."
Restricted and denied? Maybe it's just me, but that makes no sense at all. How can you restrict visitation AND deny it at the same time? To me, restricted would me less time with them or only seeing them under supervision. Denied means, well, DENIED, as in not seeing them at all.
You have to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on a law degree to figure out how to be that confusing, I guess.
The basis for the Motion to "restrict or deny" my visitation was not only a complete lie, it was downright offensive to me and also to the other person accused.
My Ex was claiming that 2 of my children stated that I drank alcohol while driving them in the car. Yes, you read that right, WHILE driving. Not that drinking and driving in any shape or fashion is acceptable, but apparently I was doing it while driving down the road.
As an added bonus, the nanny, who was not my girlfriend but was constantly referred to in court as my "live-in girlfriend", was also accused of doing the very same thing.
Before this ever even got heard in court, my Ex was already denying my visitation and she and her attorney were trying to get me to promise that I wouldn't drink while driving anymore. If I would promise that, she said, I could see my kids.
I don't think so.
By saying that, I felt that I was admitting that I had done it to begin with (which I never did) and that I wouldn't do it anymore. I never made such a promise.
In that Motion, she was also asking for a restraining order against me, claiming that I continuously told her that I would have her arrested and had tried to have her arrested in front of the children. I didn't ever try to have her arrested in front of the kids. As a matter of fact, I never TRIED to have her arrested at all, although for the past 4 years she has told my kids over and over again that that is my sole mission in life.
What I did do was tell her, through my attorney, to stay off my property and away from my business unless she had my expressed permission to come to either place. Remember how she had a bad enough habit of showing up unannounced that the nanny took out a restraining order on her? Well, apparently I was trying to have her arrested. A lot.
That was news to me!
And I did not "refuse" to allow her to get school supplies that were left behind. That was, once again, another occasion where she showed up unannounced and I told her to go away. On that occasion, and only that occasion, I did call the police. Not to have her arrested, but to have them tell her to stay away or she WOULD get arrested. I was at my wits end with the constant "dropping by". I had had enough.
And finally, once again, the puppy money was brought up. It was placed in a trust account with my attorney, and once again, in expected fashion, my Ex was trying to get all of it even though the judge had not made a ruling about it yet.
That really didn't surprise me at all. Money and "how much can I get/take from him" has always been, and continues to be, her driving force in life.
I hope that you have read that Motion over carefully.
On May 26, 2009, I was back in court once again where that Motion was heard. The outcome was completely earth shattering:
If you read the Motion carefully, you will have noticed that there was absolutely nothing stated regarding child support. Nothing. However, when all was said and done, I was walking out of the courtroom with yet another enormous amount of money to pay in a very short time frame. Please read the post titled "Order_6.5.2009 in order to view the Court Order.
This time, $4100.00 by June 5, 2009. Yes, you read that right. I had to come up with $2000.00 just 3 days after being in court and an additional $2100.00 by June 5, 2009 (which was the date the Order was actually signed). If I didn't manage to somehow do that, it was off to jail I would go.
On top of that, I was also ordered to pay $3500.00 to HER attorney. I mean I guess when she had amassed a bill of over $10,000.00 but had only paid him $800.00, he had to try to get his money somewhere, right? Obviously she wasn't paying him squat.
Once again, it was brought up that I was driving a nice vehicle and was still living in the "marital" residence, and that although the court acknowledged there had been a downturn in the economy (which meant no one was buying furniture) I could still afford all this money every single month for child support, post separation support, and now, her attorney.
It was repeated again that even though my tax returns said I made very little money, the judge decided that I made approximately quadruple what I reported.
I walked into that hearing expecting to defend myself against drinking while driving accusations and walked out having to come up with over $4000.00 in a week.
Does something seem completely crazy about that to you?
Anyhow, I once again was able to avoid jail by borrowing all the money from various friends and family members. So, if you're keeping track, from March 9, 2009 through June 5, 2009, my Ex received $7900.00, not including child support payments I made above and beyond that.
Was she satisfied yet? Not by a long shot.
The nice vehicle and the house and the business would not be an issue in court much longer because I was about to lose them all. Everything. Gone.
Just wait until you see what happens next!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS: I realize that previous blog entries are missing their documents. When I went to the site where I host my documents in order to prepare this entry, I found that all of my documents had been deleted. I know for a fact that I did not do that; however, they are gone. I will have to re-upload all of the documents again (luckily I have them all saved) and then edit each entry to have the documents visible again. This is going to take some time for me to do, so please bear with me. If I didn't know any better, I would think I was hacked because I know I didn't delete all of those documents. It wouldn't be the first time an account of mine was hacked (you know who you are!) so I have taken measures to protect my account and have also reported the issue to the hosting site.
Also, suddenly I cannot upload more than one document in a post and have them both be visible. So what I will do is make another post with the Court Order so that you can see the actual document. I will make separate posts any time I need to show you more than one document in an entry.
Give me some time and all will be fixed!
Thank you and please keep reading!!
Update 9/18/2012: It seems that all problems with document embedding have been fixed. I have re-uploaded and embedded all of the documents in all previous blog posts. I also fixed the mutiple document per post problem, it would seem. Therefore, I will post here the court order that I referenced in this post. If you find any documents still missing or have any problems seeing any documents, please let me know. Thanks!
Order_6.5.2009
My relief of courtroom drama would not last long, however. On May 1, 2009, less than 2 months after last appearing in court, a Motion was filed against me once again. This time, however, it was more disgusting than ever before.
My Ex was trying to stop me from seeing my children at all.
Motion_4.21.20090001
As you can see, the Motion contains complaints that I did not allow my Ex to take the items she was allowed to take from our former residence. I already covered all of that in a former post here, but I do feel it is worth mentioning that that part of the Motion never went anywhere.
Also included in this particular Motion was the "truck tampering" that I apparently committed. As stated in a previous blog, that case was dismissed when my Ex never showed up in court. It had already been dealt with in criminal court and should have been over and done with; however, my Ex's attorney slipped it in there anyway. That part of the Motion also never went anywhere. No proof and a dismissed criminal case. In my opinion, that part of the Motion was a waste of ink!
The absolute worst part of this Motion was that my Ex was trying to have the judge order that I not see my children at all. If you will read paragraph #2 on the third page, it says, "That the Plaintiff's (that's me) secondary placement with the minor children be restricted and denied."
Restricted and denied? Maybe it's just me, but that makes no sense at all. How can you restrict visitation AND deny it at the same time? To me, restricted would me less time with them or only seeing them under supervision. Denied means, well, DENIED, as in not seeing them at all.
You have to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on a law degree to figure out how to be that confusing, I guess.
The basis for the Motion to "restrict or deny" my visitation was not only a complete lie, it was downright offensive to me and also to the other person accused.
My Ex was claiming that 2 of my children stated that I drank alcohol while driving them in the car. Yes, you read that right, WHILE driving. Not that drinking and driving in any shape or fashion is acceptable, but apparently I was doing it while driving down the road.
As an added bonus, the nanny, who was not my girlfriend but was constantly referred to in court as my "live-in girlfriend", was also accused of doing the very same thing.
Before this ever even got heard in court, my Ex was already denying my visitation and she and her attorney were trying to get me to promise that I wouldn't drink while driving anymore. If I would promise that, she said, I could see my kids.
I don't think so.
By saying that, I felt that I was admitting that I had done it to begin with (which I never did) and that I wouldn't do it anymore. I never made such a promise.
In that Motion, she was also asking for a restraining order against me, claiming that I continuously told her that I would have her arrested and had tried to have her arrested in front of the children. I didn't ever try to have her arrested in front of the kids. As a matter of fact, I never TRIED to have her arrested at all, although for the past 4 years she has told my kids over and over again that that is my sole mission in life.
What I did do was tell her, through my attorney, to stay off my property and away from my business unless she had my expressed permission to come to either place. Remember how she had a bad enough habit of showing up unannounced that the nanny took out a restraining order on her? Well, apparently I was trying to have her arrested. A lot.
That was news to me!
And I did not "refuse" to allow her to get school supplies that were left behind. That was, once again, another occasion where she showed up unannounced and I told her to go away. On that occasion, and only that occasion, I did call the police. Not to have her arrested, but to have them tell her to stay away or she WOULD get arrested. I was at my wits end with the constant "dropping by". I had had enough.
And finally, once again, the puppy money was brought up. It was placed in a trust account with my attorney, and once again, in expected fashion, my Ex was trying to get all of it even though the judge had not made a ruling about it yet.
That really didn't surprise me at all. Money and "how much can I get/take from him" has always been, and continues to be, her driving force in life.
I hope that you have read that Motion over carefully.
On May 26, 2009, I was back in court once again where that Motion was heard. The outcome was completely earth shattering:
If you read the Motion carefully, you will have noticed that there was absolutely nothing stated regarding child support. Nothing. However, when all was said and done, I was walking out of the courtroom with yet another enormous amount of money to pay in a very short time frame. Please read the post titled "Order_6.5.2009 in order to view the Court Order.
This time, $4100.00 by June 5, 2009. Yes, you read that right. I had to come up with $2000.00 just 3 days after being in court and an additional $2100.00 by June 5, 2009 (which was the date the Order was actually signed). If I didn't manage to somehow do that, it was off to jail I would go.
On top of that, I was also ordered to pay $3500.00 to HER attorney. I mean I guess when she had amassed a bill of over $10,000.00 but had only paid him $800.00, he had to try to get his money somewhere, right? Obviously she wasn't paying him squat.
Once again, it was brought up that I was driving a nice vehicle and was still living in the "marital" residence, and that although the court acknowledged there had been a downturn in the economy (which meant no one was buying furniture) I could still afford all this money every single month for child support, post separation support, and now, her attorney.
It was repeated again that even though my tax returns said I made very little money, the judge decided that I made approximately quadruple what I reported.
I walked into that hearing expecting to defend myself against drinking while driving accusations and walked out having to come up with over $4000.00 in a week.
Does something seem completely crazy about that to you?
Anyhow, I once again was able to avoid jail by borrowing all the money from various friends and family members. So, if you're keeping track, from March 9, 2009 through June 5, 2009, my Ex received $7900.00, not including child support payments I made above and beyond that.
Was she satisfied yet? Not by a long shot.
The nice vehicle and the house and the business would not be an issue in court much longer because I was about to lose them all. Everything. Gone.
Just wait until you see what happens next!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS: I realize that previous blog entries are missing their documents. When I went to the site where I host my documents in order to prepare this entry, I found that all of my documents had been deleted. I know for a fact that I did not do that; however, they are gone. I will have to re-upload all of the documents again (luckily I have them all saved) and then edit each entry to have the documents visible again. This is going to take some time for me to do, so please bear with me. If I didn't know any better, I would think I was hacked because I know I didn't delete all of those documents. It wouldn't be the first time an account of mine was hacked (you know who you are!) so I have taken measures to protect my account and have also reported the issue to the hosting site.
Also, suddenly I cannot upload more than one document in a post and have them both be visible. So what I will do is make another post with the Court Order so that you can see the actual document. I will make separate posts any time I need to show you more than one document in an entry.
Give me some time and all will be fixed!
Thank you and please keep reading!!
Update 9/18/2012: It seems that all problems with document embedding have been fixed. I have re-uploaded and embedded all of the documents in all previous blog posts. I also fixed the mutiple document per post problem, it would seem. Therefore, I will post here the court order that I referenced in this post. If you find any documents still missing or have any problems seeing any documents, please let me know. Thanks!
Order_6.5.2009
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