As I told you last time, I finally got to see my children for the first time in over a month on March 6, 2009. Even though we had a great weekend the first weekend they were back, each of them showed signs of damage from the chaos that had been in their lives recently.
The children began to slowly tell me things about their time in Colorado. They told me that their mom had gotten an apartment there and had a job, although they did not know where. She also obtained a driver's license while in Colorado. They had been enrolled in school there and were beginning new lives.
From what I gathered from my children, my Ex had absolutely no intention of ever returning to North Carolina, and no intention of allowing me to see my children again. I fully believe that had it not been for the court order that threatened my Ex with jail, it would have taken me months, if not years, to get my children back.
The following Wednesday, March 11, 2009, three of my children were dropped off at my workplace for my weekly visitation. My oldest and youngest sons were supposed to then be dropped off by 4:00 p.m. by their grandmother. When they didn't arrive and the other three children were getting bored and tired, I decided to take them home to my house. I called the children's grandmother and told her that she would just have to bring the other two kids to my house instead.
I was then informed that the grandmother had the oldest child with her but the youngest one was with my Ex. My Ex stated that my youngest child was sick and was vomiting and had diarrhea (the first I had heard this). I asked the other children if their brother was sick and they told me that their mother had brought him to lunch that day at their school and he seemed fine.
I told my Ex to bring him anyway and that I would take care of him. After all, I am his father; I am perfectly capable of caring for a sick child. However, my Ex did not bring him that night. My Ex ended up writing me a note stating that I could have him for an extra night the following week.
You will see that in the following weeks and months that although I do get my visitation pretty regularly for a time, I usually end up without one or two children for various reasons...usually because of some sort of illness.
Before the kids left the following morning, I gave my oldest two children the house phone number and told them to please call me every Tuesday and Thursday evening so I could talk to them. I was still unable to call them myself because of the restraining order; however, my Ex still contacted me on a regular basis.
The following Wednesday, March 18, 2009, the kids were dropped off for my regular visitation. They did not have any clothing with them to wear to school the next day, which had become very typical. My Ex took all of their clothes and left me with nothing, so when they came for visitation I always had to ask for clothes for them to wear. If they did come with changes of clothes, they usually were missing socks or underwear or something. It was very frustrating.
That particular Wednesday sticks out in my mind quite a bit, though, because along with them having no clothes for the next day, I also found out that the children had not seen their mother at all for the previous week. I found out that they had been staying with (stay with me here) the mother of the man my Ex had the affair with and ultimately left me and the kids for.
They also told me that some of them had been staying with the secretary at my oldest son's school as well as staying some with their grandmother. They told me that they basically did not have a home and every day they stayed somewhere different. They never knew from one day to the next who would be picking them up from school. My oldest child said that he was sick of living like a "hobo", my oldest daughter said that she just wanted a home, and my youngest child said "mommy hates you".
I had to contact the children's grandmother and ask her to bring me some clothes for the children to wear the next day. She brought me some clothes but told me that she needed the clothes off their backs because that was all she had for them. She told me that she had to go buy them all socks and underwear.
It was later discovered that my Ex had left and gone to Colorado yet again but had not even told the children she was going there or when she would be back.
That night was very difficult for the kids. Since they had been shuffled around so much, they were all scared to sleep alone. Everyone wanted to sleep with someone else. My youngest was especially afraid. Before my Ex regained custody of them, they had never had any problem going upstairs to their beds and sleeping all night without a "sleep buddy". I felt so heartsick for them and angry at what this was doing to them. They were traumatized, and the worst part of it was, I could do nothing to stop it. The courts obviously could care less, so my hands were tied.
On Friday, March 20, 2009, my kids were dropped off again for my weekend visitation. My sister had flown down to visit and provide some support to me and to them during this difficult time.
On Sunday when the kids were to go back to their mom, I had my nanny go and meet my Ex in my shop parking lot to make the exchange since I could not go myself. The nanny asked my sister to accompany her.
When they arrived, a sheriff's deputy pulled into the parking lot apparently to witness the exchange. I'm not sure if this was just for show or if my Ex really thought I would be dumb enough to show up there with a restraining order against me, but he was there nonetheless.
When my Ex arrived, she was driving a medium-sized sedan that was only capable of seating 5 people. There were 5 children along with my Ex, so there were not enough seats in the car. My sister also noted that there were no child safety seats in the car, which, at the time, 3 of my children were supposed to be secured in while in the car.
The nanny walked over to speak to the sheriff's deputy to inform him of the lack of safety and seating in the vehicle. She was very concerned for their well-being should they have an accident. The sheriff's deputy seemed very annoyed that the nanny was even speaking to him and stated that he was not going to interfere with my Ex taking her children.
When the question of legality was raised, the deputy shrugged his shoulders and crossed his arms. He then allowed my Ex to drive away with my kids while he went the other direction out of the parking lot.
I guess not only did the courts not care what happened to my children, the police didn't either!
The next insult to me would come on March 25, 2009. I was served with a criminal court summons. I was ordered to go to criminal court on May 1, 2009.
For what, you may ask?
Truck tampering.
At the time, I didn't think it was very funny, but as I recount it all for you now, all I can do is laugh because the accusation is so far-fetched and ridiculous that I can't even believe a magistrate even signed off on the summons to begin with.
Apparently, according to the charges my Ex took out, on March 6, 2009 (the first time I saw my kids after they were in Colorado) I ripped the ignition switch out of the steering column of the pickup truck I was ordered to turn over to my Ex.
Hold on though...there's more to the story! Amazingly enough, I did this in the presence of a sheriff's deputy.
Yep! That's me, alright. Brazen and bold to the core!!!!!
So, according to my Ex, I went to pick up my kids for the first time in over a month. I was followed by the nanny in my vehicle because I was dropping off the pickup truck the judge awarded to her. I parked the truck in her parent's driveway, grabbed my camera (I wanted pictures of my children), and was out of the vehicle in less than 10 seconds.
Meanwhile, a sheriff's deputy sat less than 15 feet from where I parked in plain view of everything going on.
Supposedly in the 10 seconds between when I parked the truck, turned it off, grabbed my camera, and then exited the vehicle, I managed to rip the ignition switch from the steering column...with no tools and in the presence of an officer of the law along with at least 3 other witnesses, not to mention my 5 children.
Does this sound ludicrous to anyone yet?
Truck Tampering 3.25.2009
I don't know how many of you out there reading may be knowledgeable about vehicles, but my accomplishing this feat of destruction in that amount of time with no tools whatsoever would have been next to impossible....aside from being very, very stupid.
The real kicker is that I went to court for this THREE different times and guess what? My Ex NEVER showed up in court. Not once. The sheriff's deputy that was in the driveway was there and told both the DA and my attorney that he had no clue what he was even doing there because nothing happened that day.
Three times it was continued before it was finally dismissed because my Ex never showed up in court and there was absolutely no evidence to show that I had done anything wrong. Three times I missed work. Three times an officer of the law was pulled from his duties to sit in court for nothing. Three times the taxpayer's money was wasted.
For what, I ask? The only person that knows the answer to that is my Ex.
When we continue, the drama will, unfortunately, continue and you will really begin to see the court system unravel (as if it isn't bad enough already).
I hope you have stuck with me through this. Please keep reading!!
God Bless.
