Ok, hold on to your knickers because were going for a wild ride!
I wrote in the last post that I was heavily involved in church and had a few close friends. I was working hard and felt as if I was a good steward for God. There came a point when I began to notice that my Ex was spending an enormous amount of time with a certain friend from church. She was constantly on the phone with this person, and if not on the phone, at this friend's house.
Now, I'm not sure if I drove my Ex to this by being busy all the time or what. I guess I do take the blame for some of the events that have occurred. After all, a marriage involves 2 people, so if it goes bad, one person can't be totally at fault. Right? The things that happened that will be shared were the Ex's decision ultimately. I didn't tell her what to do, and as humans, we have a choice to do right or wrong, just like it is our choice to accept Jesus in our heart. I thought I was in Gods will doing His work and supporting my family.
So let me tell you what happened. I was working hard at my business building furniture. One day, my Ex came into my shop with a very worried look on her face. I stopped what I was doing and asked her what was wrong. She proceeded to tell me that she had been having an emotional affair with her good friend from church; one of the very few close friends we had there. She then told me that it got to be physical and that the physical part started at a women's conference, of all places. WHAT!?!?! How can you do this? I was in total shock. I was angry and told her to leave and went back to work. My mind was numb with disbelief, and in that time of disbelief, I began to remember small things I had witnessed in the past that should have set off alarm bells, especially one occasion in particular.
My Ex and I went to this friend's house after Sunday night church. The friend's husband and I were watching a football game in the family room. I happened to notice that my Ex and the other woman had left the room and gone to the bedroom. They were there for a while, and I was getting tired and wanted to go home. I went to the bedroom to let my Ex know I was ready to go home, and upon walking in the room, I realized there was much more going on than two friends just hanging out. As I opened the door, I noticed movement under the sheets and that they were under the covers with only their heads sticking out. At that point I thought that something was going on that shouldn't be, but at the same time, I thought I'd give my Ex the benefit of the doubt...and never said anything about it.
Now, as I stood at work after my Ex told me about the affair she had with this friend, things started making sense. I am certain that wasn't the only time things happened between them. I never thought something like that would ever happen to me. We had 4 children at the time! It was such a blow, and I couldn't believe it was true.
My one piece of advice for all of you out there is that if you feel something is off, SAY SOMETHING!! If you don't, I promise you there will come a point that it will be too late. Who knows? If I had said something after finding them in bed together, maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe what happened later would have never happened. Or....maybe it would have. Either way, if I had said something then, at least I would know now if my saying something would have made a difference.
As it turns out, that would not be the only blow that would rock my world. You have to stay tuned for this! This is only the beginning of the story
Until next time.
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