It seems that not having my kids for visitation has actually become more common than actually having them for visitation. It is a sad statement for sure, and I wish it weren't true, but seeing them seems to be a crap shoot at any given time.
In my last post I wrote about how incredibly difficult the month of May 2009 was. I told you about the court drama, the restraining order attempt, the Department of Social Services, and harassment charges. In that post, I also touched for a moment on the fact that I went many weeks without seeing my children during that time. I would like to elaborate on that a little further.
During that time, my Ex and I were meeting at a neutral location to exchange the children. On one occasion, we were informed that we needed to stop meeting at that particular place for that purpose because they did not have the authority to intervene if there were any issues. They suggested that we begin meeting at the Sheriff's Department for the exchanges.
Seems simple enough, right?
Beginning on May 15, 2009, after I had been visited by DSS and had been served with a temporary restraining order, we were supposed to meet at the Sheriff's Department for the exchange. Now, I will remind you that the restraining order I was served with was NOT an Ex Parte order, meaning that it was not in effect until we went to court (where it was ultimately dropped). Also, DSS found no evidence that I was a danger to my children or had harmed them in any way.
Therefore, there was absolutely no reason for my Ex to deny me my children.
However, on May 15, 2009, I went to the Sheriff's Department to pick up my children. My parents had come down for a visit after not seeing their grandchildren for a very long time, and they accompanied me to the Sheriff's Department.
My Ex never showed up.
I went inside and spoke to the Deputy on duty and explained the situation to him. He attempted to call my Ex. After several tries, she finally answered the phone. The Deputy informed her that she needed to follow the law and abide by the judge's orders. She flat out told him that she didn't care about what the judge had to say and that she was not bringing the kids. He then told her that he was going to write a report documenting that she was refusing to bring the children. When the call was over, the Deputy stated to me that she was very rude and hateful to him on the phone and he had several choice names to use in referring to her.
Later on that day, my Ex sent me a text message and told me that she would get the kids to me somehow. I'm not sure if she was starting to get nervous about the police involvement and the fact that she was violating a court order, but nonetheless she agreed to bring the kids.
Only problem was, she didn't follow through and I didn't get to see my kids.
On May 20, 2009, I again went to the Sheriff's Department to pick up my kids. The nanny accompanied me on this trip because I will not go alone to any place where I know my Ex will be. I want witnesses at all times when dealing with her because I have been wrongfully accused of doing so many things to her it isn't even funny. Witnesses, witnesses, witnesses. That is my mantra.
Anyway, once again she didn't show up, even after the Deputy tried, yet again, to call her and convince her that she had to bring them. I didn't get to see my kids.
May 27, 2009, May 29, 2009, and June 3, 2009, were more of the same story. On the June 3, 2009 visit, the Deputy gave me his report:
Incident_Report_5.15.20090001
In case it is difficult for you to read his writing, I will type it out for you here:
"5/19/09, I, Deputy ________, spoke with Mr. __________ at the ACSO front desk. Mr. _________ was there for a child exchange with Ms. _____________ at 1630 hrs. At approx. 1635 hrs. I called Ms. ___________ to see if she was going to meet Mr. ___________ with their kids. She answered that she was not going to bring the kids and had no intent to bring the kids. This is not the first time that Ms. __________ has not met with the victim. Also, Ms. ___________ was very rude and hateful. She was explained that the agreement signed by the judge was a civil matter but it could turn into a contempt of court issue. 5/20/09, Ms. ____________ also did not show. 5/27/09, Mrs._________ did not show. 5/29/09, Ms. ____________ no show. 6/3/09, no show."
I don't know about you, but if I had the police calling me at least once a week, and sometimes more, I think I might begin to analyze why exactly I was violating a court order in the first place. But then again, this was her pattern, and still seems to be her pattern to this day. It wasn't the first time I had missed huge chunks of visitation with my kids, and it wasn't the last time.
I am still having issues to this very day with getting all of my kids when I'm supposed to. It's always a gamble when going to pick them up from school because it's never known how many, if any, of my kids will be there. It's a complete crap shoot. "Complete crap" being the operative phrase.
Anyhow, I wanted to fill in that time period before moving on because my next journal entry is going to be huge. It was a series of events that changed my life forever, and it will probably take at least 3, possibly 4 entries for me to tell you the entire story.
You can trust me when I say that you really don't want to miss it!
I hope that you all keep reading and keep the comments coming! I enjoy hearing from each and every single one of you.
Until next time.
